


JJ's Bizarre Adventure

by Falahime



Series: The Throws Rufus Series [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Gen, King JJ, M/M, Phichit on Ice: Hamster Extravaganza!!!, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 13:33:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9237278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falahime/pseuds/Falahime
Summary: How was it possible for someone so cool and so popular and so beloved by millions--billions, even?--to not even have one friend to ask to be his best man?





	

  
"It's...JJ Style!"  
  
He held his pose in front of the mirror for his morning check. Hair? Stylish. Smile? White. Skin? Clear. Js? Impeccable! He was ready to head down to one of the hotel cafes for breakfast. Of course, he could just order room service, but that might deprive any fans the opportunity to ask him for an autograph or selfie. Sure, it's kind of a pain being interrupted, but isn't it his duty as a celebrity skater to make himself accessible? And really, he looked so good it'd be a crime to just stay in his room and eat by himself.  
  
He checked his phone one last time before leaving the room. Still no text from his beautiful fiancée. Well, she was probably busy with all the wedding planning, right? That's why she didn't come to Bangkok with him, after all. She kept saying there was so much to do to get ready, he should just go skate and she'd have everything lined out for when he got back.  
  
Oh, right. The wedding. _His_ wedding. His best-man-less wedding.  
  
How was it possible for someone so cool and so popular and so beloved by millions--billions, even?--to not even have _one_ friend to ask to be his best man?  
  
He stopped, one hand on the doorknob, the other still holding his phone. That's partly why he had come to Bangkok; he'd heard that Phichit was finally putting together his "Phichit on Ice: Hamster Extravaganza!!!” exhibition and anyone who was anyone was a part of it. It made sense that if he wanted to find a friend, it'd be easiest to find one amongst the best skaters in the world, right? He was a little bothered at first that he didn't hear anything about being invited but when he finally messaged Phichit, he had assured JJ that of course he was invited, his invitation must've just gotten lost in the mail. JJ didn't know anyone who would actually mail something, especially someone who used his phone as much as Phichit did, but it was ludicrous to think he hadn't been invited at all so a lost invitation really was the only thing that made sense. International mail _was_ pretty unreliable.  
  
So here he was in Bangkok, practicing skating in a hamster hat and looking for someone to be his friend.  
  
Perhaps he should keep it simple and just start with breakfast after all.  
  
  
JJ was walking down the hallway, not really paying attention, when he literally almost ran into someone who just might be able to help him. "Otabek!"  
  
Otabek had avoided colliding with JJ, because unlike JJ he actually paid attention to his surroundings.  But he hadn't anticipated JJ reaching out and grabbing his wrist to keep him from walking on past (or outright running away?).  
  
"Otabek," JJ said again, "I, uh, need your advice." He tried not to pay too much attention to the fact that Otabek looked very much like a bear debating whether it was worth gnawing off his paw to escape a trap. But this really was the perfect opportunity--Otabek had a reputation for being private and unapproachable yet he had somehow made a friend. And they were the same age, so maybe Otabek had some useful insight on friend-making?  
  
Finally, Otabek looked up from debating gnawing off his hand and raised an eyebrow, which was probably the most expression JJ had ever seen him make. "My advice?"  
  
JJ looked away for a second, suddenly uncomfortable. How did he even ask this? He was King JJ and yet had to ask how to make friends? This was--  
  
Otabek gave his wrist an experimental tug, but JJ still held tight. "Oh, uh, yeah... So, I noticed you're friends now? With that Russian kid?"  
  
"Yes. Yuri." His eyebrows drew together slightly. "What does this have to do with my advice?" Good grief, did the guy not have actual expressions? Were eyebrows really the only thing he could move on his face?  
  
"Right, right, advice. So..." Screw it. "How did that happen?"  
  
Otabek looked even stonier, which JJ would not have previously thought possible. "Excuse me?"  
  
"How did you get him to be friends with you? I need to make friends and was hoping you could tell me how you did it!" JJ flailed his arms in exasperation, finally releasing Otabek's arm.  
  
Otabek rubbed his wrist slightly. Was he smiling? That can't be right, Otabek doesn't "smile." Smirking maybe? Not quite? "Ah. I asked him."  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I asked him. I said, 'Are you going to be my friend or not?' And we shook on it."  
  
Was he messing with him? JJ stood there, hands on hips, waiting for the punchline and for Otabek to say how he really became friends with Russian Yuri. But instead, Otabek just stood there, staring straight back at him, face as serious as always.  
  
“Beka--ah," Yuri came around the corner, eyes going wary when he saw JJ, “Otabek, there you are!”  
  
"Yuri." Otabek always said his name as its own sentence. "I was on my way."  
  
Yuri glanced at JJ, tempted to say something mean even though he didn't really know the situation, but opted to ignore him. "I'm starving."  
  
There it is again. Otabek Altin doesn't smile so what is... "Me too. Let's go get breakfast."  
  
Otabek and Yuri left, holding their breaths and praying inside that JJ wouldn't ask to join them. They didn't have to worry, though, since JJ still stood in the hallway, totally puzzled. What the hell was that look just now on Otabek's face? Since when was he ever capable of looking happy?  
  


  
JJ finally made his way to a cafe for breakfast. He didn't see Otabek and Yuri anywhere so they must've picked a different one. He was a bit grateful for that because although he was on a mission to make friends, his interaction with Otabek hadn't been particularly helpful. Besides, he had enough on his mind that he didn't think he could handle looking at any more "happy Otabek."  
  
He didn't have much of an appetite and soon wandered out to the pool, flipping his phone around in his hand as he looked for a place to sit. The pool area seemed oddly vacant; maybe it was too early for most people? _”I asked him. Are you going to be my friend or not?"_ Did something like that really work? Well, obviously it did, unless Otabek was lying and he didn't seem the type, but still. Really?  
  
JJ sat in an open lounge chair without really thinking about it. So, who to ask? Leo was around his age and American, they should have something in common...except every time he saw Leo, he was with Guang-Hong, doing something on their phones. He'd passed by them last night and could've sworn they were texting each other even though they were sitting on the same couch. So Leo was probably out. Japanese Yuuri seemed meek and approachable but was there ever a moment that he wasn't with Viktor? And Viktor was out of the question; he apparently didn't care for JJ. At first, JJ thought it was meant to be funny, a friendly teasing, but lately started to suspect that Viktor actually didn't like him at all.  
  
So, how about Phichit? He seemed like a safe bet. He's the one who invited him to his exhibition, after all. Even if his invitation did get lost in the mail.  
  
"Phichit!" JJ tried to sound excited.  
  
"Ah, JJ..." Phichit looked a little tired. Perhaps he should've just texted instead of facetimed? "Are you by the pool? It looks nice."  
  
"What? Ah, yeah, it's nice. You should stay at the hotel with us instead of your place, come swimming!" JJ forced a laugh.  
  
Phichit blinked rapidly. Did he have something in his eye? Did he just wake up? "Did you, uh, need something? I'll see you soon at practice..."  
  
"Oh right! So, Phichit, will you be my friend?"  
  
Phichit blinked again. And again. There was definitely something wrong with his eye. Did the poor guy have a tic or something? Then he made an expression that looked like it was trying to be a smile, or maybe he was in pain? "Ah, um... o-of course. We're already friends, right? Why else would I ask you to be in my exhibition?"  
  
JJ beamed. _Of course_ , he'd said. Of course! "Oh, right! Yes! So I was thinking, then, maybe we could hang out and do...stuff? And I'm getting married and--"  
  
Yeah, Phichit was definitely in pain, judging by his expression. "Right, hey, I gotta go. See you at practice!" Call ended.  
  
JJ stared at the phone in his hand for a minute, his relief from a moment ago vanished. He'd asked. Phichit had said they were already friends. So why didn't he feel like he'd just gotten off the phone with his friend? Why did he feel like he'd just been brushed off? And did Phichit have an upset stomach or was talking with him really that painful?  
  
A low chuckle startled him and he almost dropped his phone on the decorative tile. A few chairs over, Chris stretched. "Hiiiii."  
  
"Oh, Chris, I, uh, didn't see you there. Were you-- were you there the whole time?"  
  
Chris smiled slowly. "Oh, you'll always find me by the pool." He sat up and JJ realized he was wearing nothing but a (very small) speedo and something...oily? "Are you asking if I was here for that whole conversation? Well, I was trying not to eavesdrop, but...yes."  
  
JJ hung his head. There was a time that he didn't take Chris seriously. Oh, he probably should have, respecting his elders and all that, but he thought Chris was on the edge of retirement and he was the King, he would eclipse him in no time. But then the Grand Prix Finals happened and while Chris hadn't skated perfectly either--  
  
"Ahem." Chris cleared his throat. "So, are you going to tell me what that was about? Or am I supposed to just ignore your confession to Phichit?"  
  
"Wha--? Confession? No!" JJ stood up but realized Chris was chuckling. "No," he said, quietly. He sat down again, on the chair next to Chris this time. "I...I'm trying to make friends."  
  
To his credit, Chris didn't outright guffaw. He choked back a laugh that ended up coming out his nose in an ungraceful kind of choke-snort, which irritated Chris because he never did anything so unlovely and it didn't help JJ's mood either. JJ was good at things, being good at things is what he did, so why was this so hard?  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at you," Chris said. JJ wasn't so sure about that. "So, what brought this on? I wouldn't think a King would need friends."  
  
JJ glowered. "You're making fun of me."  
  
Chris did laugh this time, an elegant one like he wanted. "Oh, I'm not making fun. I'm teasing. Teasing! C'mon now, tell me the whole story. I was surprised to see you here, honestly. I didn't think you'd do an exhibition like this."  
  
"I thought it'd be a good opportunity. Y'know, to hang out with the guys again. We're a lot alike, right? As in we all skate. So I thought..." JJ got quieter. "I thought someone here would be my friend."  
  
"Why are you so focused on making friends all of a sudden?"  
  
"Because--" JJ was barely audible, looking down at his clasped hands, elbows on his knees, "because I need a best man for my wedding and I realized I don't have a single friend I can ask."  
  
Chris didn't say anything for a moment. He'd tried not to laugh when he'd heard that painful conversation between JJ and Phichit. JJ was an arrogant prick generally and the only reason Chris had even asked was in the hopes of getting some embarrassing dirt he could mock him with later. The kid deserved to be brought down a peg or two and that disaster at the Finals hadn't been quite enough for Chris's taste and--  
  
All of that disappeared. He looked at JJ, sitting sideways on the lounge chair next to him, sunken and droopy and looking absolutely lost. Chris frowned, feeling a bit ashamed of his own pettiness. Yeah, JJ had been insufferably arrogant. But looking at the pathetic guy in front of him...was that arrogance the only thing keeping him going this whole time?  
  
Chris sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of his own chair. “Well,” he huffed, “I'm just a bit offended that you didn't ask me."  
  
JJ's head shot up. The hopeful expression on his face made Chris feel a little guilty for all his thoughts earlier. And were JJ's eyes a little red and watery? "What? Really?"  
  
Chris arched an eyebrow (he used to practice that look in a mirror until he got it perfect). "Well, yeah. Why didn't you ask me first? Am I not good enough or something for _King_ JJ?" He pretended to pout (and yes, he'd also practiced that look in the mirror).  
  
"Really?" JJ almost grabbed Chris's hands in his enthusiasm but Otabek's bear-face flashed across his mind and he thought better of it. "Chris, really? Will you be my friend?"  
  
Chris made a face. "I dunno. You didn't ask me _first_. I hate settling for second place, you know."  
  
JJ didn't know what to say for a moment, then realized he was supposed to laugh. Chris laughed with him, a part of him relieved to see a smiling JJ again. A depressed JJ was just too weird. "C'mon, we're going to be late meeting up with the others for practice."  
  


  
Chris was right, they were late. Late enough that the rest had left the hotel for the rink on their own and Chris and JJ had to find their own transportation. It wasn't all bad, Chris figured; the ride would give him time to give JJ some pointers on how to make himself a bit more palatable to the others.  
  
To his credit, JJ looked like he was trying to absorb Chris's advice. He had brightened up from his droopy self by the pool and the two were laughing as they entered the rink. Everyone else stopped and stared. JJ was always alone (because no one liked him); so why was he strolling in with Chris, and laughing together..?  
  
They were all in various states of preparation. Phichit was already on the ice, turning from where he'd been addressing Yuuri and Viktor. Viktor stood with his arm around Yuuri's shoulders, leaning on him a bit. Otabek and Yuri were on the ice off by themselves, discussing technique; Guang-Hong and Leo had barely finished putting on their skates.  
  
All of them seemed completely taken aback by Chris and JJ laughing together. Phichit looked slightly panicked and wouldn't make eye contact.  
  
"Nice of you to show up," Viktor said with a barely-there smirk.  
  
Yuuri elbowed him, nowhere near as forcefully as Viktor's dramatic response made it look. "Viktor, don't be mean. It's not like they're late late."  
  
"Ah, right. I only let you be 'late late' and keep me waiting, Yuuri."  
  
Yuuri blushed a bit. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"  
  
Phichit cleared his throat, and for that pretty much everyone was thankful. "Everyone's here, let's get started!"  
  
JJ couldn't move for a moment. He felt frozen in place, a creeping uncertainty settling in. Then Chris smacked him on the back, a little low. "Let's get our skates on, hmm?"  
  
JJ nodded, jolted back into the moment. "Yeah." He thought he'd try for some humor. "I'd hate to see Viktor get mad."  
  
"Hmph," Chris frowned slightly. "As long as he's got Yuuri to look at, we could up and leave and he'd never even know."  
  
Chris sounded oddly jealous but JJ thought better of saying anything about that.  
  


  
  
“Dinner last night was actually a lot of fun!” JJ sat in his lounge chair once again, coffee in hand. Chris hadn’t lied; he really could always be found by the pool.  
  
“Right?” Chris said, lazily stroking through the water. “And you listened to my advice!”  
  
To Chris’s surprise, JJ actually had listened and though he was visibly resisting at times, had barely said anything at all during dinner the night before. JJ didn’t know it but the rest of the group had been spending dinners together the whole week. Phichit’s goal had been to take them to the best spots and no one wanted a great meal to be ruined by “JJ Style.” But Chris had gambled and invited JJ along, ignoring the horrified looks of the others.  
  
“You like talking about yourself, right?” Chris had explained. JJ felt like he should deny that, but, well, couldn’t. “Well, other people like talking about themselves too. Let them. That’s how you’ll get to know them. Do that first, _then_ you can talk and let them get to know you.”  
  
JJ didn’t really understand why everyone wouldn’t want to immediately get to know him, but Chris was trying to help him so he tried his best. And it had worked, from what he could tell. The tense, awkward mood at the beginning of dinner had evaporated and morphed into laughing and crazy stories. With the lineup ranging from a living legend to a kid barely out of his senior debut, the conversation was lively and all over the place.  
  
“It is kind of a strange group,” JJ mused aloud.  
  
Chris hefted himself out of the water, taking the towel JJ held out to him. “How do you mean?”  
  
“Oh, I was just thinking, I kind of knew that Phichit and Yuuri were friends, but I never imagined Viktor would skate in a hamster hat.”  
  
Chris snorted. “Did you even listen to what you just said? Phichit and Yuuri are friends and that’s exactly why Viktor is skating wearing a hamster hat. Yuuri looks soft and Viktor seems aloof, but Viktor can’t refuse him anything.”  
  
“You sound a bit jealous.” JJ didn’t realize he said it out loud.  
  
Chris resisted the urge to hit him. Barely. “Viktor was my ideal. He was perfect. He was what I strove for.” Chris clicked his tongue irritably. “And Yuuri stole him away.”  
  
JJ didn’t really know what to say. He didn’t have an ideal. He was his own ideal. “You really think Viktor is that great?”  
  
“Viktor is that great,” Chris said emphatically. “He’s a genius. I could always count on him to be there. I wanted to measure myself against him. He was my inspiration. He made competition exciting!” JJ still looked skeptical. “I think you’ll find, now that you’re getting to know these guys, that competition is more thrilling than ever before. You might really benefit from a friendly rivalry.”  
  
“Er, you really think so?”  
  
Chris stretched out in his lounge chair, soaking up the sun. “I do. It’s good to have someone pushing you to do better and better.”  
  
JJ thought about this. He’d never had a friendly rivalry; he was the king. Did kings have rivals? But Chris did have this way of sounding wise and he had been skating a long time, almost as long as Viktor, whom everyone treated like a god, so he couldn’t immediately dismiss it. He’d have to think about it more later. “Well, Viktor’s back competing again. So you have to be pretty happy, right? Having your inspiration back?”  
  
“Hah!” Chris said. “Did you not see their Stand By Me exhibition? He may be ‘back,’” Chris did air quotes, “but he’s not free to be anyone’s inspiration anymore. No one’s but Yuuri Katsuki’s.”  
  


  
  
Through chatting by the pool with Chris in the mornings and eating with the guys in the evenings, JJ was slowly starting to learn about his fellow skaters. Guang-Hong looked innocent but was actually kinda ornery and talented and, as turns out, didn’t like action movies as much as people thought. JJ found out that he and Leo enjoyed much of the same music and followed many of the same bands (except the band he’d collaborated with for ‘Theme of King JJ.’ For whatever reason, Leo didn’t seem too fond of them). Phichit was passionate about showing his skating to Thailand and JJ could understand national pride, even if he couldn’t quite understand why it had to be presented via hamsters. Otabek’s stony mask really was starting to slip and he did have a “happy look” once in a while—JJ hadn’t been hallucinating that day! JJ thought Otabek might even be a little less unsociable but he wasn’t one hundred percent sure.  
He was surprised by Yurio; he’d seemed so hostile in Barcelona and he expected that with a gold medal he’d be insufferable. But he still had the same…unique…taste in fashion and obvious affinity for cats. He really didn’t seem to have changed much at all except now he occasionally smiled. And would then scowl if anyone commented on it.  
  
JJ soon realized that everything Chris had said about Yuuri and Viktor was absolutely true. He’d always underestimated Yuuri because of his almost nonexistent presence and subdued demeanor but found out soon enough that Yuuri was capable of a surprising amount of dry humor and cutting wit. Which is just what he needed to match Viktor and keep him in line. But for all that, the next moment he’d be blushing and flustered and embarrassed. JJ couldn’t help but wonder if Yuuri had always been so unpredictable or if Viktor brought that out.  
  
  
  
One morning JJ, Chris, Yuuri, and Viktor hit the rink a little earlier to get some extra time in before working specifically on Hamster Extravaganza!!!. They were on the benches, getting ready when something shiny caught JJ’s eye.  
  
“Those freakin’ gold skates,” he muttered, shaking his head. Chris snorted.  
  
Viktor just smiled a signature smile. “They match all my gold medals.”  
  
Yuuri reached over and gently interlaced his fingers with Viktor’s, tapping a finger against Viktor’s gold band. “They match something else too.”  
  
“Yuuri!” Viktor exploded and hugged him, beaming. “You are just the cutest!” He shot a smug look at JJ. “I bet JJ’s wishing his fiancee was as cute as you right now!”  
  
“Bah, enough!” Chris threw Viktor’s tissue box (did he really take that thing everywhere?) at his head, but Viktor caught it one-handed (so he could keep the other around a blushing Yuuri) and then hugged it protectively to his chest.  
  
“My Maccachin! Chris, if you hurt Maccachin, I don’t think I could ever forgive you!”  
  
“Yes, yes, of course,” Chris rolled his eyes.  
  
Viktor laughed and pulled Yuuri off the bench toward the ice. “C’mon, Yuuri, let’s work on getting you something that matches your gold ring too.”  
  
A living legend who packs around a poodle tissue box and can’t quit being touchy-feely with the same guy he teases for not having a gold medal. It didn’t matter how much JJ was around Viktor, he would never figure him out.  
  
JJ watched them skate for a minute, thinking about their exhibition and the Grand Prix Finals and how their rings seemed to sparkle happily whether the lighting made sense for it or not.  
  
“I wonder if they really won’t get married until Yuuri gets gold,” Chris mused quietly. JJ had been thinking the same thing and was surprised that Chris had said it first.  
  
“I was wondering that too.” JJ admitted. He stood up and made his way to the ice, Chris not far behind. “I guess, fortunately for me, my fiancee decided to go ahead with the wedding regardless.” He meant to sound lighthearted but it fell flat.  
  
“Well, next time you talk to her, tell her your best man has two conditions. An open bar and a pole.”  
  
JJ’s face lit up and he grabbed Chris’s shoulders. “You’ll do it? For real?” Chris nodded, smiling a not-particularly-wholesome smile that made JJ’s grin waver. “Wait, a pole?”  
  
“Oh, good idea!” Viktor said as he skated by. JJ hadn’t known he was listening in. Yuuri was off focused on something, out of immediate hearing. “Chris has more talents than just skating.” A spin, a stop. Chris preened a bit at the ambiguous praise. “Speaking of your wedding,” Viktor continued, “it’s perhaps not my business, but I think you should put Mickey Crispino on your guest list.”  
  
“Really?” JJ said, looking between Viktor and Chris. “You think so?”  
  
“Ahh,” Chris said, catching on to something JJ had totally missed. “Yes. He could really stand to meet a nice girl. A nice girl besides his sister.” He and Viktor shared a knowing look.  
  
JJ was lost. “What?”  
  
“But only if you also invite Emil Nekola,” Viktor said, one hand on his hip, the other tapping his lips with a finger as if the thought had only just now come to him.  
  
Now Chris and JJ both looked a bit puzzled. “I always thought Mickey disliked Emil because Emil was after Sala,” Chris said.  
  
Viktor smiled secretively. “Maybe so…but then who does Emil always get to sit by when someone is trying to stay between him and Sala? Hmm?” Chris’s eyebrows shot up and Viktor looked like the cat that ate the cream. “It’s a pretty good plan, I think. Is there any faster way to have Mickey glued to you than to maybe pretend to be after his sister?”  
  
Chris gasped, loving every minute. “That is so devious! You really think..?”  
  
Viktor laughed, skating away. “All’s fair in love and love, you know.”  
  
JJ resisted the urge to shake his head as Viktor spun away and Chris laughed and launched into his warm up. His instinct before was right: it didn’t matter how much he was around Viktor, he would never figure him out.  
  


  
They were taking a brief break during afternoon practice, JJ leaning against the edge of the rink, watching Yurio on the far side without really meaning to.  
  
“Yurio’s really come along way,” Yuuri said softly. JJ hadn’t realized he was there. “I guess maybe it sounds condescending to say that, since he took gold…” he trailed off.  
  
“No, I know what you mean,” JJ said. “Like he used to be all hard edges.” JJ was proud of himself; he thought that sounded pretty poetic.  
  
Yuuri chuckled. “Exactly. But he’s still something amazing…no, he’s even more amazing. Sometimes it’s like his potential is so bright it hurts my eyes.”  
  
Well, Yuuri had him beat in the poetic department. “You really surprised me, you know.” JJ said bluntly.  
  
“Pardon?” Yuuri looked a bit startled.  
  
“I didn’t think you had it in you. What you did last year. You talk about Yurio’s potential—but what about you? You were a totally different person!”  
  
Yuuri looked away, embarrassed. “Well, Viktor—“  
  
“I know people say Viktor’s the one who brought it out. But if there’s something to bring out, doesn’t that mean you still had to have it in there to begin with?”  
  
Yuuri considered him for a moment, fighting a small smile. “I…I guess that makes sense…”  
  
“Hey, I have a question.” JJ’s eyes looked off at Yurio and Otabek, then focused back on Yuuri. A little too intensely for Yuuri’s comfort.  
  
“What is it?” Yuuri asked.  
  
“Why the heck do we all call him Yurio?”  
  
  
  
“Y’know,” Leo said, “JJ could actually be kinda cool if he didn’t already think he’s so cool.”  
  
Guang-Hong raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Are you serious right now?”  
  
“He’s very talented!” Leo said defensively. Then, quieter, “He can do so many things easily that I still can’t even do. I didn’t have even a single quad in my program last year and he had how many?”  
  
“But how many did he land?” Guang-Hong said icily.  
  
“What do you mean? Don’t ever watch him when we’re just skating around at practice? His jumps—“  
  
“And didn’t you watch him at the Grand Prix Finals?” Guang-Hong interrupted. “He had a complete breakdown. Sure, he’s landing them in practice, but have you seen him in competition since then? He doesn’t make half of them.” A pause and a whisper, “I think he’s done.”  
  
“That is not true!” Yuuri’s voice came from nowhere, startling them. “Don’t you dare say that about him. I watched him at the Finals last year and no matter how bad it got, JJ kept trying! He kept moving forward and that—“ Yuuri lost his train of thought at their wide eyes, surprised he was so heated about this. “And that does make him cool,” Yuuri finished lamely.  
  
“Hmm, I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Viktor said, arm settling around Yuuri like it had a mind of its own. “Those tattoos will never be cool. But I have to admit he is kind of talented.” He gave Yuuri a knowing glance, “And I do know of more than one talented skater who managed to claw his way out of a slump.”  
  
Yuuri blushed a little. Leo’s phone buzzed; it was a message from Guang-Hong who was still standing right next to him: “Mushy. XP” Leo tried to hide a smile.  
  
Guang-Hong spoke up, “I don’t think I want to eat here. Let’s keep looking, there has to be some place in here we haven’t tried.”  
  
  
JJ stayed perfectly still, almost afraid to breathe until he was sure they were out of sight. He’d hunched down in his seat when he realized they were talking about him. He couldn’t believe they didn’t know he was there until he remembered the decorative plants behind his booth, effectively hiding him from that angle. Why they felt the need to have a conversation like that paused at the entryway of a cafe, he had no idea. And whether he was better or worse of for hearing it, he also had no idea. He didn’t know what to think.  
  
His first thought was that Guang-Hong was kind of a little punk. For looking so cute and innocent, he was a bit of a brat. But the more he thought about it, he had to admit the brat might be right. He hadn’t recovered from last year’s debacle. Oh, he’d pulled it together enough to scrape by with a bronze medal but he’d gotten worse, not better, afterward. He could land his jumps in practice all day long but once it was time to get serious things just didn’t work the way they used to. He fell apart.  
  
But he was feeling pretty good here in Bangkok. He’d been doing great in practice and his jumps were the best they’d been since right before the Finals. Maybe this was the power of friendship..?! He’d seen it in Otabek and Yurio at the Finals, even if he hadn’t realized until now that’s what had leveled them up. And just look at Yuuri Katsuki, what the power of, uh, friendship had done for him…  
  
Besides, wasn’t Chris saying something about rivalries? That whole thing about challenging yourself by competing against friends is what made things fun? So wouldn’t this be a great time to show what he was made of? He had been given the perfect opportunity to show the world the real JJ, the winner JJ. Not the “Grand Prix Finals breakdown third place” JJ. He was sure Phichit would be thrilled to add some extra little things here and there, sequences to highlight JJ where he could show his stuff. Wouldn’t it also give peace of mind to Yuuri and Leo and his friends who were worried about him to see him back as the star of the show where he belonged? JJ would prove that he was back and better than ever and it would really give Hamster Extravaganza!!! some extra flair!  
  
This would be perfect! He couldn’t wait to tell the guys his awesome idea.  
  
  
Everyone was hanging out in Viktor’s and Yuuri’s suite since it was the biggest. They’d split up and gone separate ways for dinner with the plan to meet up again afterward. It was the perfect time for JJ to pitch his new idea to the group. Sure, they’d been practicing the choreography for the exhibition all this time and it was a little late to change things but they were professionals—it wouldn’t be too hard to add a couple elements. JJ would be the ones doing them, anyway; no one else would have to learn anything new.  
  
“…And that’s my plan! Isn’t it great?” JJ finished excitedly.  
  
No one said anything. No one would look directly at him. He kept his smile frozen on his face, not sure why they weren’t responding. Were they overwhelmed with how brilliant it was? Kicking themselves for not having thought of it already? He waited. That…is not what this was.  
  
“Well,” Phichit said nervously, looking anywhere but at him. “I—you see, JJ, I had a vision when I put this together—“ his voice wavered.  
  
“Of course you did! But my vision of your vision is better!” JJ grabbed Phichit’s shoulders, as if he could shake him into being convinced. “It’ll be even better than you could’ve imagined—“  
  
“You’re being an ass!” Viktor’s mouth was open to say something but it was Yuuri who said the words. Everyone turned to look at Yuuri in shock, including JJ.  
  
“...What?" JJ breathed, his voice lost to surprise. What was happening here? "B-but, I thought you liked me. You defended me when—“  
  
“I did defend you! I think you’re an amazing competitor but this is unacceptable! Phichit has been dreaming of this almost his whole life and you’re trying to ruin it by making it about you! Like you do with everything! This is why you weren’t invited!”  
  
The room went silent. JJ’s hands went slack and dropped off Phichit’s shoulders. Again, no one would look at him.  
  
He looked at Phichit, not fully comprehending. “Y-you said it got lost in the mail.”  
  
Phichit finally looked straight at him, eyes shiny, as if he might cry. “I asked Seung Gil first but he turned me down. Emil was supposed to do it but had a family accident at the last minute. I was trying to think of who to ask when you called.”  
  
Time stopped as JJ processed everything. Then with a final look at all of them, he stormed out.  
  
Yuuri blinked and seemed to come back to himself. “Oh no, I didn’t mean—what have I done? I shouldn’t have said that!” He covered his face with his hands, mortified. Viktor squeezed his shoulder.  
  
“It needed to be said,” Chris said. “I think this will be for the best.” He sighed and straightened, looking like he was preparing for battle. “I’ll go look for him.”  
  
“Where?” Phichit asked. “I know the area best, maybe I can help. If we split up and start—“  
  
“He won’t have gone far,” Otabek interrupted, calm and stoic as ever. “He wants to be found so he won’t make it too hard.”  
  
Yurio looked at Otabek with a puzzled expression, “How do you—“ and then remembered a certain time in Barcelona when Otabek oh so coincidentally just happened to find him right when he needed to be found. Otabek raised an eyebrow slightly at Yurio’s unfinished question and Yurio frowned slightly. Nah, he couldn’t have _planned_ something like that. No way.  
  
“Do you want us to help look?” Leo spoke up.  
  
Chris shook his head. “That’s alright, I have a good idea of where he’ll be. Just wait here, we’ll be back soon.”  
  


  
As suspected, JJ hadn’t gone far. Chris found him on a bench in a small scenic area still on hotel property.  
  
“Just leave me alone. I’m just being an ass anyway,” JJ pouted, not looking at Chris as he sat down on the bench beside him.  
  
“You _are_ being an ass.”  
  
JJ’s head snapped up, his face looking worse than if someone had punched him. “How can you say that?! I thought you were my friend! And Yuuri— I thought—“  
  
“I _am_ your friend,” Chris interrupted. He put his hand on JJ’s shoulder. “And that’s exactly why you should listen when I’m telling you that you’re being an ass.” JJ’s expression went from stunned to confused. “Yuuri didn’t say that stuff because he dislikes you; he said because he does like you and wants to _keep_ liking you. You do make that kind of hard for people.”  
  
“But I wanted to help—“  
  
“Did you stop to think whether it would actually help or did you just get caught up in ‘being JJ’?” Chris asked, then realized maybe it came off a bit too harsh.  
  
“What’s wrong with ‘being JJ’? That’s all I’ve ever been. That’s what I do!” JJ almost-yelled, exasperated.  
  
“Obviously! And you are JJ, so you can be JJ all you want!” Chris caught himself matching JJ’s tone and getting a bit too loud. “But then why can’t you understand that Phichit wants to ‘be Phichit’? You should understand better than anyone else what he’s trying to do by being true to himself.”  
  
Chris waited. JJ stared. And Chris waited.  
  
Finally, “Oh.”  
  
Chris tried not to laugh and settled for a smile instead. “Right?”  
  
JJ cringed. “I— I guess…” He sighed one of the biggest, most anguished sighs Chris had ever heard and scrubbed his face with his hands. He looked at Chris. “I was being an ass, wasn’t I?”  
  
Chris did laugh this time and clapped JJ on the back. “See how much easier your life would be if you just listened to me?” He winked.  
  
JJ chuckled, then sobered. “But now…how do I…what—“  
  
“Just go back in there— _we’ll_ go back in there—and you tell them what you just told me. You were being an ass, and you’re sorry.”  
  
JJ looked skeptical. “Really? You really think that’ll work?”  
  
Chris smiled, perhaps the first genuine smile JJ had seen on him. “I know it’ll work. They’ll forgive you, because they’re your friends.”  
  
  
***  
  
  
JJ’s wedding had actually been postponed due to the unpredictable success of Hamster Extravaganza!!! What was initially intended to be a limited-run event in Bangkok turned into a worldwide tour. The skating and entertainment world was buzzing about the artistic brilliance of using such vibrant color and costume design as well as showcasing the important balance of diversity with commonality by using such a varied cast of skaters brought together as symbolically anthropomorphized hamsters. People could not quit talking about how the paradox of lighthearted enjoyment and intense profundity of Hamster Extravaganza!!! had “made history.”  
  
When the wedding finally came, it was a giant, breathtaking, over-the-top, truly JJ Style affair. The bride, the groom, everyone in attendance looked stunning (okay, maybe not JJ’s parents, but that couldn’t be helped). An unnatural percentage of simply beautiful people had converged in this one place to celebrate both JJ’s wedding and the immense success of Hamster Extravaganza!!! and it was an event for the ages.  
  
And if, on a certain social media site, photos of a particular lineup of professional skaters in various states of enthusiasm and drunkenness posed together “JJ Style!”…well, who’s to say.  
  
…Or perhaps those photos were immediately obscured by the amount posted once JJ’s best man started showing just what that pole was for.

**Author's Note:**

> This abomination is the result of much nagging by a certain stuffed rabbit who wasn't going to give up until I "wrote something." I apologize.


End file.
